Dear Wally: Please inform your readers how tacky those hideous newsletters are that people send out around the holidays. - Ticked-off Terrier

Dear T-o T, To the contrary, newsletters celebrate the richness of our collective heritage. Maybe yours just isn't very well-written.

Hello Wally Joe, What's a good thing to do to celebrate this most auspicious New Year's? - Concerned Collie

Dear CC: A good thing to do is to go to sleep early in a little foam bed, getting up several times during the evening to troll for food.

Wally Help! Is it ever proper to bark for hours and hours on end at excruciating decibel levels? -A Certain Corgi

Dear Kirby, No, it is never permissible to disturb the sleep of our elders and betters. Or to steal their little foam beds.